Because I Said So

I've been transitioning actively and openly for about two years now. I've done workshops and seminars and one-on-one training. I've spoken to as little as ten people to as many as 100 people about my trans* experience and identity. So I'm comfortable saying that I've been pretty much asked a wide variety of questions, some more respectful than others.

But I still dread being asked: why? Why are you trans*? Why did you decide to take hormones? Why didn't you stay a girl if you're so femme? Why?

And I understand that some people--trans* and cis--simply want to know what made the wheels in my head turn. I get that and I'm happy to answer it most of the time. But this condescending 'why' I just can't tolerate.

So what I want to know is why you feel the need to question my trans* identity? And why you feel like there has to be some big, deep explanation for it? Why there has to be a story, a series of experiences, a big drawn out narrative that I have to repeat every time I meet someone. Why? Why can't you just take it and move on?

So now, I put up with very little. I'm trans*. That's it. If you want to know more, ask a different, more well thought out question.

People are always curious about trans* folks. But they forget that we get asked the same questions over and over again--nicely and not so nicely. So maybe I don't feel like being your walking Google.

Sketcher.